HILARIOUS PICTURES | Funny archive featuring hilarious pictures and top humor sites.

Hilarious Jokes

Mother Nature There were these two best friends out playing golf one beautiful day. After hitting their tee shots, both noticed that neither was even close to the fairway. One friend hit it way left, the other way ... 1 2 3 4 5	Mississippi A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention ... 1 2 3 4 5
Confuse Santa Claus 1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ... 1 2 3 4 5	Go give us a donation Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said "It's Al Gore. He's up there threatening to set himself ... 1 2 3 4 5
Question And Answer Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who was tap dancing? A: He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink. Q: What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime? A: Paddy O'Furniture! Q: ... 1 2 3 4 5	Computer Rednecks WARNING: IT IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED THAT YOU PUT DOWN THE BEER CAN AND THE SHOTGUN BEFORE READING ANY FURTHER Ya might be a redneck addicted to the world of computers if... If yer computer ... 1 2 3 4 5
A Nutty Game A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything ... 1 2 3 4 5	A Book About the Elephant Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant: The French book - The Sex Life of the Elephant or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant. The English book - Elephants I have shot on Safari. ... 1 2 3 4 5
A Pleasant Word After 35 years of marriage, Bernie is lying on his deathbed. With a tear in his eye, he says, "Annabelle, before I die, I have to tell you something. The first year we were together, ... 1 2 3 4 5	What Do You Wish For? There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, who were all stranded on an island. One day they found a genie and he said he would grant them three wishes. All three of them agreed that ... 1 2 3 4 5
That Scrawny Mutt? No Way! A man wanted a big, verocious dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, ... 1 2 3 4 5	Skiing Dictionary Alp: One of a number of ski mountains in Europe. Also a shouted request for assistance made by a European. Avalanche: One of the few actual perils skiers face that needlessly ... 1 2 3 4 5
Men Get Even A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up as it sometimes does. But then the wife suddenly stops and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." ... 1 2 3 4 5	Beer Cans Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married Bill told her, "There's one thing I want you to know. There's a box under my bed and I don't want you to look in it until I die." Hillary agreed ... 1 2 3 4 5
Good Advice 1. Never test the depth of the water with both feet!!! 2. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple car payments!! 3. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a ... 1 2 3 4 5	A Blonde At Work A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." ... 1 2 3 4 5
Women Translations CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS? There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again. I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. ... without you in it. DO I LOOK ... 1 2 3 4 5	Cat Rules I. DOORS Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand on hind legs and scratch the frame. You may also reach under the door and pull clothing towards you silks get the quickest ... 1 2 3 4 5
The Blonde and the Sheep Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car ... 1 2 3 4 5	A Cultural Comparison Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad. Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians ... 1 2 3 4 5
After Christmas After Christmas vacation, an elementary school teacher was asking her students how they celebrated Christmas. When she got to Sammy, whose father ran a local toy store, she said, "Sammy, since ... 1 2 3 4 5	Blondes On Everest Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette. As a group they decided that one ... 1 2 3 4 5
Populate Earth One day, God and Adam were walking in the Garden of Eden. God told Adam that it was time to populate the Earth. "Adam, you can start by kissing Eve." "Lord, what is a kiss?" asked Adam. ... 1 2 3 4 5	Makes Sense To Me In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than ... 1 2 3 4 5

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