Hilarious Jokes
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. |
1. Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. |
This weekend, I discovered a cooking tip I haven't seen listed in any cookbooks. |
THINGY (thing-ee) n. |
For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, or are a teenager, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats: |
When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my car, I buy my wife a bouquet of flowers on display near the checkout counter. |
A January 1994 Reuters News Service story on Manuel Oliveira's ice cream shop in Merida, Venezuela, reported on his 567 flavors, including onion, chili, beer, eggplant, smoked trout, spaghetti parmesan, ... |
O'Connell was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg. |
My friend and his wife stayed in a hotel and got a bill for ninety bucks. He screamed, "Ninety dollars?, for what?" The desk clerk said, "For room and board sir." My friend said, "Room and board? ... |
These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine: |
Esther Cohen was the mother of three, very active small boys. One summer evening she was playing cops and robbers with them in the back yard after dinner. |
An Army private filling out a questionnaire for a |
For most of us, Chinese is a very difficult language to learn or understand. Hopefully, these simplifications will help you understand the Chinese language just a bit better! |
A little girl goes to visit Santa at the Mall. When it is her turn she sits on his lap and Santa says "Have you been good?" |
A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time for dinner. After dinner, his girlfriend and her mother left the room to do the dishes, leaving him with the father and the dog Duke, who ... |
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. |
A Scottish Santa, on duty at the local department store, was dressed in the kilt. He was, of course dressed in 'Regimental Fashion' (nothing under it). |
Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has ... |
1. Old people always have exact change. |
One morning, my son asked me: "Why are you making |
A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over. |
To The Tune Of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town |
A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. |
Some self-evident truths about pets... |


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