Hilarious Jokes
There were these two best friends out playing golf one beautiful day. After hitting their tee shots, both noticed that neither was even close to the fairway. One friend hit it way left, the other way ... |
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. |
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. |
Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. |
Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who was tap dancing? |
WARNING: IT IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED THAT YOU PUT DOWN THE BEER CAN AND THE SHOTGUN BEFORE READING ANY FURTHER |
A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything ... |
Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant: |
After 35 years of marriage, Bernie is lying on his deathbed. |
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, who were all stranded on an island. |
A man wanted a big, verocious dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs. |
Alp: |
A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up as it sometimes does. |
Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married Bill told her, "There's one thing I want you to know. There's a box under my bed and I don't want you to look in it until I die." |
1. Never test the depth of the water with both feet!!! |
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. |
CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS? |
I. DOORS |
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. |
Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad. |
After Christmas vacation, an elementary school teacher was asking her students how they celebrated Christmas. |
Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette. |
One day, God and Adam were walking in the Garden of Eden. God told Adam that it was time to populate the Earth. |
In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than ... |
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